25 Days of Israel: Day 2 - Living the Impossible

This is Day 2 in a series of posts I have chosen to write during the time of my current - and last, for a while - trip to Israel in March 2023. My experience of Israel in these last 7 years of my residence has been vivid, inspiring, nerve wracking, debilitating, and wholly, precisely, profoundly the medicine I've needed. Words will not (yet) fully express the treasures I've received from my presence here, but I believe the commitment, challenge, and confidence of these 25 Days of Israel are a beautiful homage to their glory in my life.

Somehow, being physically in Israel, it’s easier to have faith in my magical mastery. This country is richly pragmatic, for better or for worse, and sometimes that can mean an overstimulation, but sometimes that can mean an experience of eye gazing with the “impossible.”

Having now spent about 24 hours back here, in a cushy and also safe space in the heart of easy going weekend- and holiday-ready Tel Aviv, I am reminded of this aspect of my attraction to Israel.

When I first arrived, many parts of me could feel (but couldn’t yet name) that, in this country, with this land, more (dare I even say, much more) of the impossibility was actually possible and accessible. And now, 7 years later, I would firmly consider this to be a major theme of all of life here.

There are many people beating the odds - the countless stories of countless diverse immigrants facing incredible adversities to arrive here, the heritage of the indigenous peoples of this land and the forceful shift in their narrative, even the saga of the Jewish people themselves. Not only that, but in the day to day, here is a place where resistance to or defiance of standardized “limitations” is the norm… again, for better or for worse 🤪😉

This has made Israel a land of and Israelis, in all their flavors, a people of living the impossible. It shouldn’t exist… but it does. Things shouldn’t work… but they do. People shouldn’t be living and loving and thriving… but they are. Everything and every place and everyone really doesn’t make logical sense, and yet… here it all is.

Let me be clear. I don’t always feel that this is the most efficient way, nor particularly easeful in every case. This is precisely the reason why many people who come also eventually choose to leave. But undoubtedly, I think it’s hard to argue against the fact that it is also, somehow, the most magical way that consistently offers a brilliant stream of potential.

There’s a reason Israel is the start up nation despite also having a chaotic and frankly nightmarish public education system. There’s a reason the community and family experiences are more vivid and rich and warm here despite the relentless history of trauma for both this land and these lineages. There’s a reason there is amazing ongoing innovation from individuals and groups that has influenced the entire world despite the sense of scarcity and struggle inevitable to any life here.

The stakes are ALWAYS huge and there is a clear unfortunate sense of “join it, keep up, or get out,” but there’s a sense of power in Israel and Israelis that’s unmistakably ultimate. If you can and do play the game of life in Israel, you are, unequivocally, a superhero (and have the abilities to go with it).

I often use the metaphor of surfing a wave when describing life in Israel to others. You’re either on top of the wave, riding clear and free, or you’re sucked under it. You must have certain abilities to stay on top; otherwise, you’ll find yourself stuck in a washing machine.

This world absolutely isn’t for everyone, and unfortunately, there is a very very fine line between embodying sovereignty, curiosity, and creativity in the face of limitation and running stressed in a rat race to beat out even only one other person. I’ll be honest - many people I’ve seen around me in the last few years have felt more engaged with the latter than the former, and I myself leave now for similar reasons. It’s not easy.

And still. For some people, at some times in their life - for me when I first came - it’s completely worth it. It is worth the investment - of time, money, energy, heart. It is worth it and worthy, because on the other side of the drive is motivation, inspiration, and liberation. It is a gift, a gateway to a truly bold and expansive way of Being. It is an activator of the fires of your creativity and a delicious, delightful, sometimes naughty dance partner. It is a hands-on and badass and EFFECTIVE resource for broadening the scope of your vision and your practical steps for aligning with it. It’s a world for a brave new world.

In its fire, it is so sublime and absolutely ecstatic. I adore this fact.

It is my time for a new lesson and new adventure now, but I thank this country profoundly for seizing me in this one. In it, with it, through it, I’ve decided to live as Jillian Joy. I’ve decided to live as love, and as light. I’ve found my voice and softened the grip of constraints - technical and emotional - I meet in other parts of the world. I am a human I really love and really want to be… if I must be human 😉

Israel… WHOA.

And now, it is time to convene with a beloved heart here, share more beautiful moments, and rest.

Shabbat shalom, sweet lights 💗